Admit it, you’ve removed a post or a picture on Facebook before when an hour has gone by and no one bothered to press the like button. We’ve all been there at some point because, whether we want to admit it or not, likes are important to us. It shows that what you’re saying is valid or cool, it means someone thought you looked pretty today and in some messed up way it reassures you that you are actually having fun. If these things weren’t true then no one would have bothered to press the like button right?
But what does the opposite mean then? If no one presses that like button or if no one hearts your Instagram photo or retweets your tweet does that make it less valid, less cool, does that make you ugly and does that mean that you might not be having as much fun as you think you are? If you’re nodding right now then I’m sorry to say it my friends but we might be in big trouble…
It’s not our fault though. We live in a generation where a lot of our sense of self worth and validity comes from the opinions of others, we are constantly generating self worth panels out of our friends, family and even strangers with every picture we upload and every thought we put online. We compare ourselves with others through their panels, the amount of likes they get, the number of retweets, hearts!It’s a never ending cycle and it has less then promising consequences.
People who suffer from social anxiety or anxiety in general already have a hard time in normal situations as in real life conversations,public speaking, public transport, classrooms etc. and in some ways the internet has been somewhat of an escape from those anxieties and fears that come along with real life social interaction by providing a barrier that allows social interaction to take place in a controlled environment. The environment, although controlled, however proposes it’s own set of anxieties.
What happens when one feels out of place not only in a physical environment but also in the environment created by social media? The amount of likes, retweets and hearts gain a much higher value. It is possible that they can ‘confirm’ or ‘deny’ fears. Things that you were already self conscious about are indirectly being highlighted.For example you might not think that you are pretty, smart, funny, a good friend or talented. Posting things online like selfies, jokes or art work and receiving no positive feedback feeds those fears and little by little eats at your sense of self worth without people realizing what they are doing.
Is it wrong that we have allowed social media to have such a big influence on our lives? Yes, yes it is but in some ways I think the damage has already been done. Social media isn’t going anywhere anytime soon and neither are our fears so how does one achieve a healthy relationship with the two aspects when one feeds off the other? Honestly, aside from deleting ones social media accounts I don’t know how this issue can be approached and quite frankly the likelihood of someone deleting all of their social media accounts is probably not too likely.
In the following video by Sheknows a group of girls discuss the anxieties that come along with social media, texting, likes and FOMO (Fear of missing out). This video shows just how integrated social media has become in our lives, especially on the younger generation and just how these forms of communication can negatively affects ones self esteem.
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